As a child I use to dream of living a creative life, I wanted to write great novels. Be a film director. I was active, but, quiet, a watcher. As I grew up and needed money. I slipped into a life of sales, marketing and the business world. It was easy, as my Dad is what you would call “The Consumate Salesman”. He wasn’t the used car salesman type, at all, charming people to get what he wanted. He always was honorable and balanced in his dealings with others. The one thing about sales and what I learnt as a young person in business, is it’s a mortal sin to wait. Waiting to make you move, or giving yourself time to mull over the possibilities would always result in someone else making the sale and always lead the one waiting to the unemployment line. So, I became a talker.
As I shifted my life course away from the world of business and plunged headlong into art. I employed the many gifts I learned from my Father and others to try to promote and sell my work. I did struggle greatly with waiting, though. In the beginning, I got very crisp, colorful visions of paintings in my head that I had no technical knowledge or ability to carry out. I tried many times, but, the results were ridiculously crude. I could only manage the colors. I laugh at my foolishness to take these pieces out into the world and try to sell them. It was like trying to sell balls of dough as fully cooked bread. I needed time…
In the first year of my art career, I was introduced an artist named Jerome Coeulle. He was fairly long in the tooth agewise, but, he spent his summers in Vermont, painting, canoeing and enjoying a glass in the evening. The minute I met him in his studio, I had seen my future.
The many thousands of hours spent alone with my face over a canvas. Feeling and trusting in some unseen force moving my arm and guiding the brush. The skin of my hands completely obscured by a riot of colorful wet paint led me to develop a better balance of my inner and outer world. While I was waiting, creating, I was cleaning out the skeletons in my closet from this life and countless others. I was learning to listen and have faith in my inner voices and visions. I was developing a healthy family life. I was in a glorious battle of trying to keep a hold on the earth while flying amongst the stars.
Years ago, I was given a great book… Animal Speak by Ted Andrews. The book catalogues and describes the spiritual and symbolic meanings of the animals we encounter daily in nature. I refer to it constantly since the move out of the suburbs. Since striking up my friendship with Alfred the red-tailed hawk and during this extra intense period of waiting for a couple of cogs to click into gear, lifewise. There is still so much more to learn.
Hawks…Keynote: Visionary Power
“Hawks are one of the most intriguing and mystical of the birds of prey. They are the messengers, the protectors, and visionaries of the sky. The red-tailed hawk is very symbolic. It can reflect that this bird becomes a totem in your life only after the kundalini has been activated. It can also reflect that the childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. It may pop up as a totem in your life where you begin to move toward your soul purpose more dynamically. To the Ojibwa, The red-tailed hawk represented leadership, deliberation and foresight. Hawk is akin to Mercury, the messenger of the gods. Hawk medicines teaches you to be observant…Life is sending you signals. The red-tail can spread its wings to a great width, and it can teach you to use your creative energies in the same way. It can extend the vision of your life.
So here’s to waiting for time to catch up with dreams. To reading the messages in the wind. To daily encounters with the natural world, that affirm a manifestation for a happy life…Amen!
Alfred the watch Hawk