5 D Life

Living in a 5 D reality, no longer straddled between two worlds, no longer questioning or afraid of Celestial Visions and Revelations. Accepting. The ability to dance on Earth, sing, laugh and cry on Earth and the simultaneous voyaging among the Heavens among Heavenly friends and family members is my reality. Embracing this unusual, yet blessed gift, as mine. I treasure and sing out with a joy and a weary, yet confident acceptance of Birth…Amen and Onward

 

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The Outcome

This is a piece from 2 years ago…

The beginning and early years of many is the theme of seeking a way to fill the empty places within. My path to creating art was pushed by the emptiness. Slowly and very quietly the voices came, years went by, as they get louder and louder. When I finally listened, and a step taken,  the holes began to fill and a path was laid in a dark forest. The path led me to God who was waiting patiently all along.

He was not in that great new job, that new toy, the paintings of others or the magnificent Cathedral. He was inside of me, as he is in all of us.

The Outcome to life’s puzzle rests in the heart of the seeker who allows the crack in the dark to slowly open. With curiosity and bravery the light gets brighter. With a simple question…Will you help me? Images will begin to appear in the light, at which time you wonder if you’re crazy. Crazy is living a life in fear, greed, jealously…Faith is trusting in what you see, and allowing your mind to shift from the What… What am I seeing? To breathe and take in, the Why… Why is this happening? Until after a long struggle it’s a loud Yes!… I understand.

“It’s me, I’ve been here all along.”

“Sorry, I guess I wasn’t paying attention?”

“No, you were busy.”

“Well I’m not busy now, I’m just painting, filling the walls of my house and stacking them up in the closet when they are done.”

“Good, keep doing it, you will need many in the future. When people have stopped finding room for a flat screen TV, they will realize that a space still needs to be filled, not just on their walls, but in their hearts.”

“What will my work show them?”

“Purity, a purity that lies at the root of all true Art. Me! The seeking and finding of me. I Am, radiates out a pulse from the canvas, like a beacon.”

“Love, is what I feel when I’m painting.”

“What else is there to say?”

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Love…

I Love This…

Last week I drove down to Cannon Beach, Oregon. The gallery there that sells my work asked me to participate in The annual Plein Air festival. The timing was good,a break was needed. I packed up my art supplies, camping gear and hit the road.

I was unsure how it would all go, Artwise, as my style of painting is very different from what would be expected from a Plein Air festival. Dragonfire Gallery wanted me to paint right in the courtyard out front of the gallery. I was a little nervous as I set up the area to start painting that first morning. I asked for help “Please don’t make me look foolish” were the exact words I said to the heavens.

I had been painting for less that two hours and had set the colors on my first piece, an abstract, kind of, sort of, landscape. People had been stopping to watch, then moving on. From behind me a little voice starts to ask me a couple of simple questions. I looked back quickly, for a flash and barely notice a little girl shyly standing there. My eyes and concentration were back on the painting. A few moments later I hear her say ” I like paintings with depth”.  She had me now, I turn around and really saw her, this adorable girl of about seven years old standing there watching me paint wearing the same colors in her clothing as I had just put down on my canvas. “What’s your name?” I ask her in awe…”Eilee, my name is Eilee”. I grabbed a sharpie and my still wet painting. “How do you spell Eilee?” I ask….”E I L E E” I quickly wrote ” Sunset For Eilee” on the back of the painting. We both smiled and in our our own ways felt jubilant.

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I painted like a house on fire for the rest of that day and the next. It was so much fun to talk to people and answer questions about my work. In the evenings I retreated to my campsite under the tall trees, lit a cooking fire, opened a bottle of wine and wearily thought about the work done, that day and all the days. Lots of work, thousands of hours, for about 18 years. I looked at the paint on my clothes, I looked at the paint still on my hands. Would I change anything? Did I have any regrets? Nope, I Love This…

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About Doubt and Those Crows…

Doubt has been a companion of mine for the last few weeks. A cash flow crunch is always a helpful trigger. My guides and Angels had been showing me many amazing scenes of how my life story is playing out. I was greeted by multiple views doors in front of me, then a hand comes out and I have a golden key placed in mine, I open the door and an avalanche of cash engulfs me, on and on, unwavering Abundance. Meanwhile, in my waking life I had been struggling with a slow trickle of receivables. “When is this struggle, this  juggling act ever going to end?”…” You have nothing to fear” would be the back and forth conversation.

In a nutshell my day to day has been tight financially and I’ve  been dealing with another issue that’s been hidden but, is looming large and Ominous to our family.

So, in meditation I ask Jesus, because his smiling face is lit up right in front of me. “Okay, for years now, you’ve given me the answers”… He nods Yes…”I understand about Divine  Timing, frustrating though”… He’s beginning to chuckle…” I’ve been waiting so long for a breakthrough in two big areas of my life. Will it ever happen? Or am I just losing my grip on reality?”… Jesus, is almost doubled up laughing now. He straightens up collects himself and begins to speak…” My son, we know how hard this has been for you, but, you don’t realize that you have graduated, the work you’ve done has unchained countless generations/lifetimes of your Kharma. Trust and believe in the powers we have given you”… Then he holds up a Crow in his hand and says ” Let’s try an exercise, to help you believe in you and us. For three days you will see a crow.” With that he departed.

The next morning while driving to my day job A Crow flies across the highway low enough to make me almost swerve out of the way. “There’s one” I said to the air. The next day, I came out of the house I was working on and a Crow goes by me in a woosh and lands on the roof over my head… Caw! Caw!…”Ok, I get it, number two”…I need help is what I mutter under my breath. Day three I’m stopped at this small beach park, sitting in my car to briefly watch the boats head out to The Salish Sea. In the grass a Crow begins to walk along to a leaking water spout in the ground. He’s in front of me  drinking from the dripping spout, his head nodding up and down with every gulp of water.

That evening Jesus comes in again and says, “Now you will see a pair of Crows and one will be unusual”. The next day I park my car in front of my Chinese lunch place, step out of the car and two Crows land in the street in front of me. The Crow to the left is a normal looking Crow. The Crow to the right had a very Black head, very black wings. I got goosebumps when I saw that his chest was almost silver colored, almost like he had a tuxedo on. Once this special Crow new I got a good look at him, he hopped twice picked up a rock and quickly flew over my head. My spirit soared with him as I punched the air with my fist. My fortune cookie after lunch read “Prepare yourself for Truth”…”Amen, who’s crazy now? Not me”  I said out Loud.

The following are excerpts about Crows and their Spiritual Significance, taken From The late Ted Andrews author of the classic book Animal Speak…

Crows…

To the Athapaskan Indians of Alaska, a Raven (Crow) was the creator of the world. To The Celts, the Crows also symbolic of Creation. In the Norse tradition, the god Odin had two Crows (Ravens) who were his messengers.

Wherever Crows are, there is magic. They are symbols of creation and spiritual strength. they remind us to look for opportunities to create and manifest magic of life. They are messengers calling to us about the creation and magic that is alive within our world everyday and available to us.

IMG_4105 Raven Holding Moon

A draft from 2013…A Vision I saw

A man walks alone naked across a frozen field. The icy ground cutting into the soles of his feet like countless shards of broken glass. There is pain…no blood…He steps up to the alter iluminated by a brilliant golden light. The man reaches his arms up to God and begins to speak.

” I have a body will you take it?” God’s only son appears and brings a new body back and says.  “You will live a long time”

“I have a heart will you take it”? God’s only son reaches his hands out from a white linen gown touches the still beating heart and says “It is full and rich with life”

” I have a son who needs to see, will you help him” God’s only son steps forward with the young man in tow. “He is free, he is yours again”

“I have a daughter, who is in Love” God’s only son steps forward with two little children. “Meet your grandchildren”

“I am an artist, will I be met?” God’s only son steps forward trailing an line of countless souls. “This is your audience”

“I have a home, I want to stay here” God’s only son steps forward with a golden gate in his arms. “This is your land the gate will protect you from harm”

The man turns slowly around with a blazing warmth on his back. The ground thaws as he walks…where there was ice…now there are wildflowers. He kneels down, lowers his face and breathes in the kaleidoscope of scents. He is dizzy with the fragrance and exhilarated by the colors. He lays down in the field and says softly to himself. ” I think it’s time to rest”.

A Banquet…

About Four years ago, I had a vision of being in a large room with arched windows. The scene seemed old, like I was in an old life in Tuscany, Florence to be more specific. I approached the window and as I got near I could look out and see a country scene unfold. Suddenly,  this whirlwind of paper flew around me and I could see that what was paper was actually dollars, money. Swoosh, it all started to go out the window. I wasn’t sure or confident to understand then what I was being shown, but, realize now it to be true. The last four years has seemed like a constant outlay of money and energy. No matter how hard I worked in my day job or at the marketing of my Art, it was all going out and little coming in.

A couple of months ago, I was having a sandwich at a bakery in town. From my seat I looked up and saw a mural I had never noticed before. It was a painted rendition of my vision. A Tuscan old looking Arched window, looking out to the countryside. What startled me for a moment was instead of money flying out the window, the ledge had many loaves of bread, cheese, meat and fruit. It was a painting of abundance.

I kept looking at it then closed my eyes and a chalkboard appeared in my inner view…FAITH was slowly written across the board in a whitish yellow large piece of chalk. I opened my eyes as they began to tear up, said Thank-You in silence and walked out the door to continue my day.

About two weeks ago, I was forced to make a trip to California. One of the galleries that carries my work had decided to turn  one of their locations into a clothing store. Regretfully, the location that sold most of my work for them and had the most wall space. The other location they have is smaller and has a shortage of wall space. The feeling of hitting the road and spending more money to collect more of my artwork and find a new home for it, rather than hitting the road to bring fresh work and collect checks, made me feel gloomy and dejected. The hopeful part of the equation was that a short while ago I had set up a new gallery in a town nearby, Calistoga to be exact. Trying to stay positive I thought it would be good to re visit them and try to establish a more permanent connection. The fear of running out of money before a shift in the wind has been looming large for me for about six weeks now. But, it’s a Fear and only the potential energy, not necessarily what will happen. But, when it sits in your stomach it’s sometimes hard to eradicate.

My wife had vacation time and she was overdue for a change of scenery. I looked at the bank account groaned, carefully figured out what we could spend, made some calls for accommodations, negotiated with God for a successful trip. While in meditation before leaving I was greeted by a large friendly face, actually Jesus to be exact as I have seen him many times before. His face came closer to mine and then he slowly tilted back and his body stretched towards me like a table, large amounts of food began to fill the table. His hand began to pick up food and offer it to me. Which, I of course thankfully and gratefully accepted. We left for the road trip on the day of my birthday. We drove for two days, stayed three days in Calistoga and then stretched the drive home by three days.

While on the trip we did what we’ve done for years, kept it all really simple, packed our own food, wine,  sandwiches, olives, fruit, lots of road snacks and lots of music. The energy was not of worry or expectation, but, just peaceful, watching the landscape of the Westcoast change and unfold before us. From time to time, when I wasn’t driving I would close my eyes and Jesus would appear with a handful of food extended or once a spoon. Many times a loud voice came in to say “You are locked in, Have faith, there is nothing you can do to change this path”. While it may sound weird or fatalistic for anyone reading this. For me I’ve become used to it and it helped me continue on as relaxed as I could possibly be. You see in my case in the life I’m living creating works of Art and having raised a family, it’s all about Juggling and trying to stay Afloat and balanced. I guess I have become good at it.

One the first day in Napa Valley, I said goodbye to the old gallery, it was sad to part with the friends I made there, but, business is business I guess. The new gallery has lots of wall space and they seem genuinely excited about me and my work. Onward and hopeful we spent the next couple of days in and around Calistoga. I love that place. I met some interesting people that I hope will become new friends. My cousin and his wife showed up and treated us to an amazing birthday dinner.

We left Calistoga and stopped the first night in Yreka. We settled into the room after walking the dogs and I was stunned when Paula started to unpack an amazing dinner of snacks that my cousin and his wife had brought from Whole Foods Market. What a dinner, we laughed pretended we were in Spain as we ate.

The next day we drove through a stretch of The Oregon Coast that we had not travelled in about six years. During our summer camping trips for years as the kids were growing up this area was our stomping grounds. We had the times of our lives camping, living in a big family tent then moving up to a tent trailer, all the while on a shoestring budget. My mind was drifting back to those times while my wife had an oldies station on the radio. In my memory I only remembered the fun, never the fear, or the lack of money. It would have been so easy to not pack up the dogs and the kids over and over again because we though we couldn’t afford it or it wouldn’t be prudent. But, I guess that’s not in our make up or mine at least. It’s not defiant or delusional to just want to live it up, to wring whatever bit of Love you can muster out of this life. I thought of my kids, now grown who are doing that now. A sense of awe and pride started to sweep over me as a really cheesy song from the past started up on the radio…I turned the volume up Loud as “Rock Me Gently” by Andy Kim started up. My wife looked at me, questioning then laughing as she saw me singing every word…We made it count and when the song ended a congratulatory fist bump was shared between us.

That night we were met by the most amazing sunset I can remember. I felt hopeful and thought of the images of food, support and plenty that had recently been coming in, I felt proud of the past leaps of Faith and mostly felt like the tables have maybe turned and the banquet that is this life may get even more abundant in the future. God I hope so, LOL. I am glad we made the trip…

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Newspaper Rock

This has been a really interesting week. I have been painting with energy like I haven’t had in years. Many wonderful encounters with dear friends from the past who have taken the time and interest to converse with me has left me with a wonderful sense of healing and support. My Dad visited me yesterday and while I was busy painting and working on the final colors of a large painting, he watched me. I don’t remember him ever doing this and while I knew his eyes were on me I felt happy that he was seeing me do something I’ve been doing now for countless thousands of hours in this lifetime and, most certainly in lifetimes long gone. He finally spoke and said “you’ve been doing this for a long time now” “Yes I have, about 18 years now “was my reply. He then said “this is your legacy, this work will be around for a very long time, after you’re gone”. I said “Dad, I don’t paint for now anymore, I probably never really have or I’d be painting pretty little landscapes” I then recited my favorite struggling artist quote…The artist life is the best life if you can survive the first 4o years…Paraphrasing The Great Thomas Hart Benton. This morning he sends me two emails, one to say how proud and excited he was with my new works. The next was to show me an ad from a local Museum that is running a show for a long dead artist that I feel strongly connected to from another life. He wanted to see the exhibition with me, knowing my Dad and art not being a lifelong interest to him, I was moved in a very happy Full Circle kind of way.

I was corresponding with a very dear old friend by email later in the day and we were talking about Past Lives or Other Lives. I sent this picture of Newspaper Rock in Southern Utah and I wrote the following…This is Newspaper Rock, it is a place beside a creek , in a grove of trees in Southern Utah…For a thousand years people have been coming to this place and carving out stories on the rock face…This Rock is what our souls are like…Countless lives and countless people visiting and writing stories on our memory…Everyone you have ever Loved, hated, made your heart leap or caused you pain in this lifetime has crossed your path before…

This I believe to be true, this understanding guides me and may it guide you in all present actions…

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The Miracle of Laughter

As I get older and count my blessings everyday for the choices I’ve made and the paths crossed and taken. I’ve come to appreciate The Miracle of Laughter. I would never consider myself to be a funny person, although I’ve always thankfully had the ability to make my wife laugh. Life is serious, really? Does it always have to be? Yes, there are many difficult and challenging aspects to modern life, and many people I know are struggling with various issues.

If you’re foolish enough to watch the evening news every night, you can hardly feel anything else but gloomy, afraid and pessimistic. My friends that make me smile and laugh the most these days are struggling with various hardships, as I am, some more some less, but if it’s personal, it’s important. Making each other laugh and smile has unknowingly helped rise us up from feeling defeated. Out of darkness into The Light.

Over the last four years I’ve had what some may call a Spiritual crisis or awakening depending on how you view it. While I’ve been visited, by countless, unexplained visitors of the heavenly realm, I’ve felt my grip on trying to live in the old ways lesson. Life is just different for me now and I’ve seen with my own eyes that when I’m dancing, painting, writing or listening to music the Angels are responding in kind. I know that God is equal parts Divine leader, Loving thunderbolt right between the eyeballs Teacher and Harpo Marx.

For the last few months more and more people who make me laugh have been coming into to my life. The ones that don’t are rapidly leaving. Brett Ryan Stewart cd Tilt a singer/songwriter friend cracks me up daily on Facebook. My writer friend Niall Williams last spring published the funniest book I’ve read in years History of the Rain. I feel that to laugh or make someone smile and laugh is like that crack of sunshine on a cloudy day. Probably why the Irish call a good laugh Crack. I vow to work harder at taking myself less seriously and making more of my loved ones laugh and allow them to see the joyful spirit that’s in me and hope that more and more show me that side of them.

I was in a store yesterday and they had a display case with these novelty wrist watches, I smiled and laughed to myself when I came across one that was titled Ministry of silly Walks it had John Cleese’s body at the Twelve o’clock position his legs were the minute hand and the second hand. I vowed to save up and get that watch.

We have three dogs and they make me smile and laugh everyday. I often tell people there is no accident that Dog is God spelled backwards. Their humor, joy and rambunctious spirit fills this house and lifts my spirit in kind. Over the Holidays, two of the three must have eaten mushrooms or something that made them so sick that they almost died three weeks apart. I realized as I saw them in such a dark place that their spirit was on the verge of leaving them and it was heartbreaking to see.

As, I was walking them this morning and writing this post in my head, a rainbow appeared, in the direction I was going. Home. So, I’m laughing more, I’m telling the ones I love that I love them more. I’m thanking God, Jesus and the Angels for their companionship, Love and guidance over the last few years. Get use to it world, this is me. It’s only just the beginning. I say this in case a sixteen ton weight happens to land on my head at any moment.

So, beloved blog readers whoever you are, make people laugh, hold the ones that make you laugh and smile close and lovingly, peacefully stay clear of the ones that don’t. With that I’ll leave you with a bit of Harpo…God Bless http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9OUIk4Oaq4

The Poetry of Knowing

Our home when we moved in was an almost brand new house in the middle of a hay field. The tall field grass brushed against the newly painted siding. The previous owners horse had chewed some of the boards on the back deck. The back of the house looked onto a tangled mess of Blackberry vines, overgrown Apple trees. At first we barely went back there, it was so difficult to move around. A sense of exploration into a wild place came over me when I began to climb through it all. But, evidence that it had once been a working Apple Orchard was obvious the more I visited. So, bit by bit my work to make a home in the country began. I dove into to the task of creating an idyllic nest and push back the Wild. The property was a blank canvas and I attacked it with virtually non-stop effort. Now, I’m getting to a point where I look around and begin to see the results and its shocking. I mean, I was so into the creation, with my head down to the effort, that now as I walk around with the Dogs, I’m being greeted every moment with a reward, a gift as opposed to another thing to add to my work list. It’s been a real struggle in so many ways over the last few years to live, to survive. But, the land and the work to do, steered me clear of an overwhelming feeling of doubt, anxiety and fear. I’m learning to Detatch, to disconnect from things I can’t control. I guess living close to nature, amongst other living things teaches you that. Animals have the gift of knowing exactly who they are and why they are here. With that knowledge and sense of they display Grace…It’s comforting being around creatures that display the poetry of knowing. Every so often you encounter a human that displays this and it’s inspiring. I guess that’s why we are so drawn to celebrities and sports figures. When they are doing what they do best it’s powerful to watch. They make living look so damn easy. When I started to paint, by necessity but not consciously I had to find work that would allow me an exit if my Art took off, or so I thought. For years, I worked by myself sawing wood, remodelling peoples houses, painting at night after looking after my family. The solitude was very beneficial and was not unlike clearing the weeds, pruning and clearing the vines of my property. I was clearing my inner landscape. I was gaining confidence in myself and my abilities to be a good human being. I have a ways to go, but my goal is to be like the Owls, Coyotes and Hawks I see everyday, there in the present and safe in the knowing of who they are and what that have to do. As the New Year approaches, I resolve to live even more true to myself and my life’s purpose…I Know!

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My Chair

I must be getting older, because I’ve come to a place in my life where I have a favorite chair. In the past a chair was something not appreciated and was usually just a convenient rest stop, as I ran around, with restless energy trying to build my life. But, now a chair means something more. It is a place to rest my weary bones, to stop, think, be still and most of all meditate.

Quietness, meditation, hearing the divine words clearly, can only be done from peace and stillness. My chair outside with the birds singing, the Hawks and Eagles flying overhead is the best seat in the house. There a few things more interesting to me than the words and music of Nature. The realization that my place here working my land, painting, walking the dogs, then plunking myself down is all connected. The animals have seemingly accepted my presence. Alfred the Red Tailed Hawk calmly sits in the old Alder as I walk on by. I’d like to think he nods a little. The Coyotes cruise by on the hunt for mice, they calmly keep one eye out for my movements as the rest of their focus is on getting a meal. I wonder what they think of me.

I found peace here and I try to emulate as best I can the confidence, calmness and inner knowing I see and feel in my animal neighbors. Qualities humans often lack, especially the closer they live to a city. I am learning everyday and the richness of stillness is feeding and filling my soul. My chair is just an inexpensive lawn chair, but its a vehicle for peace and inner wisdom…

chairWe are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”  Paulo Coelho   The alchemist